Tag Archives: facebook. single

Facebook is not good for me or Goals Revisited

29 Sep

Goals Revisited

Goal 1) Power walk 5km in 45mins

Arm swing forward, shoulders are back and my legs move with gusto.  The beat of the music propels me. I am a power walking queen only beaten by the lady with the grey hair and the two walking sticks. I swear her walking sticks possess  magic properties, but I don’t care. The only thing I care about is my goal. My goal is to finish the Scotiabank Waterfront 5km in 45minutes. I don’t care about the people that can run it in 30mins. I don’t care about those who may snicker as I walk past the finish line at the 45min mark or even if I am last. I only care about me and my ability to finish what I started.

Now, if only I could apply that logic to my life.   At almost 35, single, still working on my degree and living at home (being diagnosed with MS set off events that ended with me living at home) I feel like loser. It doesn’t matter how I spin it; I feel like I flunked out of adulthood.  I never envisioned at 34.99, I would be living at home. Single. I look at facebook it reminds me of my failure as adult. My friends have houses, children.  When I really want to mutilate myself with images on facebook, I look up my ex-boyfriend to see his success as adult (two children and a white picket fence).  That makes me feel awesome every time! (That was sarcasm.)

WAIT! THIS IS PATHETIC!

I am focusing on all the wrong things. This is my life and yes, my life is far from what I imagined, but it is mine. I need to own this life of mine and own my decisions. I need to focus on my goals like my 5km. I don’t care how I accomplish 5km, just as long as I finish it. No person power walking that race will take away from my accomplishment. So, why am I allowing other people’s success to devalue my image of myself? This doesn’t accomplish anything.

 When I was first diagnosed with MS, I promised myself that I would handle it with a positive attitude.  I don’t think I have been handling the MS with a positive anything lately.  I have been focusing on what I don’t have instead of what I do have. I have so much. I have great parents, loving friends, a good community and an infinite amount of possibilities for my life. I may have not met my Mr. Right, but that doesn’t mean I won’t find him. I need to get to the work of making gratitude part of my daily life again. Goal- to focus on gratitude.

Goal update

1)     5km- did it and doing it three times a week

2)     Go on a date- Well, I didn’t do this yet. (I have given myself an extension for this goal until the end of November)

3)     Goal 3- see the ocean. Did it! I saw the ocean when I was in Newfoundland

4)     Goal 4- Get a good grade in my next class- I haven’t received my final mark yet ( I got two A’s while in class)

5)     Goal 5- Blog more- I was working on school stuff.

6) Focus on Gratitude

 Image